Solemnity of Saint Joseph: St Joseph, the ideal husband of Mary

In Christian tradition, Joseph has been given a much lower profile than Mary. One reason for this is that, whereas we give the title “Mother of Jesus” to Mary, we reserve the title “Father of Jesus” to the heavenly Father, in our bid to highlight the divinity of Jesus. A second reason has been our reluctance to call Joseph “husband” of Mary, in a bid to highlight the virginity of Mary. Today, Vatican II has tried to correct this imbalance by presenting Joseph for what he really was: husband of Mary and father of Jesus. Joseph was husband and father in a real, if not in a biological, sense. This understanding is brought out in the preface of the Mass of St Joseph, which we celebrate today:

He is that just man, that wise and loyal servant, whom you placed at the head of your family.

With a husband's love he cherished Mary, the virgin Mother of God.

With fatherly care he watched over Jesus Christ your Son, conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The word “husband” is generally understood today as a man that is bonded to a wife. Originally, however, the word simply meant “master/owner/caretaker of a house,” without a direct reference to a wife. Husband was a function, more than a relationship. Joseph was the husband in the Holy Family of Nazareth. He cared for and provided for the Holy Household. This was a responsibility which he carried out in a heroic manner. And so, as Christians, we can all look up to St Joseph as the ideal husband and father. Many qualities qualify Joseph to be a role model for a Christian husband and father.

• Joseph was a just man (Matthew 1:19). He was the kind of man that all Christian men are called to become.
• He was compassionate. When he suspected his wife of infidelity, he planned to divorce her quietly rather than denounce her publicly and expose her to public shame and penalty.
• He was a man of prayer and deep communion with God. He always sought God’s will and guidance and often found it in his dreams.
• He was a man of obedience to God’s word. Whatever he knew to be God’s will be promptly did, whether it was to go back to his wife or to emigrate to a foreign land.
• He was a care provider. When Jesus went missing, Joseph went back to Jerusalem looking for him. When Jesus’ life was threatened he took him with his mother and escaped to safety in Egypt, bringing them back to Israel only when he knew it was safe to do so.
• He was a man alive to his spousal and parental duties, doing all he could to protect and care for his wife and his child. He made sure he got the child circumcised, named and presented to the Temple as and when due.
• He was a man who respected his wife and gave her the space to exercise her initiative. In the temple in Jerusalem, it was Mary who spoke up and not Joseph.
• He was a patient man. He must have felt betrayed when he discovered that Mary was pregnant. But he did not act rashly or take matters into his own hand. He remained patient and sought divine guidance in the situation. Similarly, when the boy Jesus followed his mind and stayed back in Jerusalem only to be found after three days, Joseph did not smack him as many fathers of his day would have done. He reminded himself that “Boys must be boys” and quietly took him back home.
• He was a man who led his family by example rather than by precept. A marriage success rule for men says, “When you are wrong, apologise; and when you are right, keep silent.” Joseph followed this rule. That explains why no words of Joseph’s are recorded in Scripture.
  

Joseph was indeed an ideal husband. Today God’s Holy Family is the Church. No wonder St. Joseph is today invoked as patron of the universal church. Patron is another word for husband, understood as a function of watching over, caring for and protecting those that God has placed under one’s charge.

St. Joseph has an important message for all Christians, especially for men. For men who have been called by God to be husbands and fathers, do we try to exercise our spousal and fatherly responsibility in the family with diligence as Joseph did? For those who have been called in any capacity to be spiritual fathers of the people of God, do we care for and nourish the family that God has entrusted into our care or do we do our ministry like business-as-usual? Through the example and prayers of St Joseph, may we have the patience, courage, wisdom and strength to be ideal caregivers and providers for the families, natural and spiritual, that God has placed in our charge.